Carving out my new identity as a bride to be is sometimes fun, sometimes challenging. I am no longer that singleton who worked a job, spent lots of time alone, living alone, and dating someone. I am now fully moved in with my fiance, though I spend 2-3 nights a week at my former condo residence. My fiance has taken me into his life along with my 2 cats, and I have taken him into mine. I have forsaken all others and have him as a beneficial result.
Adjustments are made, and then more are made again later. Sometimes the same adjustments over again. He's messy, I'm tidy. He's vegetarian, I eat some meat. He rides a bike everywhere, I drive a car. I watch shopping TV, he watches sports. He's fiercely environmental, I occasionally use paper plates to avoid doing dishes.
Yet within these differences is a core of loving each other and both being compassionate caring people who also love animals and nature. We are both intropective and have integrity, we like helping others.
This last week has been one of looking inside myself and seeing what's there, seeing what I like and what I want to change to make myself a better person, better friend, better partner to my fiance. It has been sometimes easy sometimes hard. I so appreciate the things in my life that have remained the same over the last tumultuous six months: my volunteer work at the cat shelter, the salon I go to for beauty help and relationship advice, and so grateful for the steady presence of my fiance in my life, so supportive, kind, loving and lovable.
This past week I found my wedding clutch and wedding earrings. Moving forward and finalizing my wedding day look is such an adventure, the hunt and the finds have been fabulous. The clutch is from Spain, the earrings from Saks. Both will compliment my dress nicely and make the big day more special. I continue to devour wedding magazines for prompts, ideas and inspiration. The excitement builds and wanes, like the moving tides.
And I know now and will know well on the wedding day, what I'm getting into. A joined life, a partnership, an enduring love, and a growing sense of self and happiness.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I Say Yes the the Dress
My cell phone rang in the pocket of of scrubs at the cat shelter. It was the Bridal Shop where I bought my wedding dress. Could be only one thing. My dress is in.
Wow, time to start getting into this wedding thing for real. Up to this point it's been on paper, vendor phone calls and meetings, lsitening to music samples via email...a lot of virtual wedding activity. This is for real. My dress, my wedding, is for real.
I gathered up my two bridesmaids that live in town and went in to try on the dress. With my little white bag holding my shoes and jewelry, I was so incredibly nervous and excited. What would it be like? Would the dress fit? Would I like it?
The dress was brought into the fitting room in all it's white spledor and glory. They slipped it on over my head, zipped it up and it fit, very snug, but it fit. I walked out and strolled around the salon, posed for photos that were sent to family immediately, and basked in it all. I thought I looked ok. My maids thought I looked more than ok, which helped. I tried to relax and breathe. Yup, it's for real now, I'm going to be a bride, I'm going to be married.
It's 5 1/2 months to the wedding, and my focus was swept right away from my own dress to the next decision, what will the maids wear? Being a nice bride-to-be, I'm having 3 bridesmaids, although it is a small wedding, since I want to include everyone and hurt no feelings. I also, in a fit of generosity, offered to pay for all the maids' dresses. So much for staying on budget this month...
So I somewhat fearlessly looked at the suggested website and picked out, with the girls' help, bridesmaid dresses. Getting their input and participation in their fittings has been a little like herding cats. But very fun and here we go, onward and upward into the time until the wedding.
My former self would be scared, nervous of a) gaining weight and not fitting into the dress at the final fitting in October; b) nervous my fiance will not show up at the wedding, or worse, show up in a his tux and Converse High Top shoes.
But no, this is the new me, or new me in the making, who is boldly going where I've never gone before (yeah right, at least going there, if not too boldly). And with a little help from my bridemaids and all the people making the wedding a reality, including even my fiance, I will be just fine.
Wow, time to start getting into this wedding thing for real. Up to this point it's been on paper, vendor phone calls and meetings, lsitening to music samples via email...a lot of virtual wedding activity. This is for real. My dress, my wedding, is for real.
I gathered up my two bridesmaids that live in town and went in to try on the dress. With my little white bag holding my shoes and jewelry, I was so incredibly nervous and excited. What would it be like? Would the dress fit? Would I like it?
The dress was brought into the fitting room in all it's white spledor and glory. They slipped it on over my head, zipped it up and it fit, very snug, but it fit. I walked out and strolled around the salon, posed for photos that were sent to family immediately, and basked in it all. I thought I looked ok. My maids thought I looked more than ok, which helped. I tried to relax and breathe. Yup, it's for real now, I'm going to be a bride, I'm going to be married.
It's 5 1/2 months to the wedding, and my focus was swept right away from my own dress to the next decision, what will the maids wear? Being a nice bride-to-be, I'm having 3 bridesmaids, although it is a small wedding, since I want to include everyone and hurt no feelings. I also, in a fit of generosity, offered to pay for all the maids' dresses. So much for staying on budget this month...
So I somewhat fearlessly looked at the suggested website and picked out, with the girls' help, bridesmaid dresses. Getting their input and participation in their fittings has been a little like herding cats. But very fun and here we go, onward and upward into the time until the wedding.
My former self would be scared, nervous of a) gaining weight and not fitting into the dress at the final fitting in October; b) nervous my fiance will not show up at the wedding, or worse, show up in a his tux and Converse High Top shoes.
But no, this is the new me, or new me in the making, who is boldly going where I've never gone before (yeah right, at least going there, if not too boldly). And with a little help from my bridemaids and all the people making the wedding a reality, including even my fiance, I will be just fine.
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