The Condo

The condo is where I lived before I moved in with my fiance at his place.  His place is now knows as "our house".  I refer to the condo privately as "the womb", that warm, fuzzy, comfortable place I can go to and feel like everything is ok.  It is the known, whereas being with my fiance at our house feels at times like the sort of scary unknown.

Moving in with my fiance happened sort of like this:  He asked me to marry him, I'm pretty sure I said yes (see first blog entry), and then he asked me if I wanted to move in with him.  This was after much emotion, rejoicing and happy tears.  I said yes, thinking of course I'm going to move in with my future husband.  I have a very traditional, conservative view of marriage and see it as a blissful union between two people who are living together.

I did not anticipate what it would be like to actually move.  I have lived in the same place for over twenty years.  Saying "over twenty years" is a nice way of saying I've lived at the condo for longer than many many people have been alive.  It also sounds nicer than saying 25 years which is actually how long I've been living, uninterrupted, at the condo.  Alone with my cat.  By myself with my feline. No men, no roommates.

Also I have never lived with a man before, at the condo or anywhere else, except when I was living with my brothers as a child and they teased me, threw me in the pool and made life difficult in general.  If it were not for the solid relationship I have with my father (also known as "my hero"), I would probably have no chance at marriage at all.

Ergo the need to move slowly, at a snail's pace, into the vast unknown of life with a significant other, a man, on his turf.  I found it helpful, after an emotional start, to spend a few nights a week back at the condo.  In fact I set up a schedule: Mon. Wed. & Fri. nights in the womb--I mean at the condo, and the rest of the time based at what soon became, and is becoming more and more every day, our place.

It's been about 2 months of pre-nuptual cohabitation...and things are going so very well.  Not that I haven't had difficult moments adjusting to my new role of fiance, bride-to-be etc.  Every day I check in with myself and make sure I am doing ok with everything.  If I'm not, I figure out, either on my own or with my fiance's help, how to make it better. And there seem to be a lot of people out there who have gone this way, this getting married way, who are really more than willing to give tips on how to make things easier and more rewarding.  It is to those helpful people of the recent past and future that I dedicate this entry, and say thank you. 

See you next time!