Keeping Secrets

Being engaged and moving into the finace's place is like looking at oneself under a huge microscope or at least a blurry magnifying glass.  I am newly aware of many behaviors that went previously unnoticed and taken for granted when I lived by myself-they seemed so normal. Some of these behaviors, I notice, are what I feel a need to hide from my fiance:

Shopping:  Yes I am among the large female population that like to shop.  My fiance however, is very environmental and shops only in thrift stores, reuses, reduces and recycles everything.  I admire him for this, to the point where I feel a little guilty about buying new things.  Thus, I am at times tip toeing around the house in the morning, bringing in new purchases when he's asleep.  I will have to take a look at this. The funny thing is that when he sees what I've bought, which inevitably happens eventually, he never judges me or says anything.  He likes the things I buy.  This makes my sneaky behavior seem a little silly. And makes me love him even more-he's such a great guy.

Eating: Yes I am among the large human population that likes to eat.  Probably because I so enjoy staying alive.  But to move into my fiance's house, with all the cheese, peanut butter and heretofore "forbidden" foods (meaning foods I never kept in the house when I lived alone because I would eat them all at once), is weird.  To eat around someone you want to appear attractive to takes getting used to.  I have learned to be nice to myself with my diet, be honest with myself about foods I eat, and that my fiance really doesn't particularly notice or care what I eat.  And that it's not necessary to raid the refrigerator at nighttime. It's ok to be real.

Working Out:  I can be very lazy.  My fiance is the opposite of lazy.  He works out every day, stretches, ices injuries, rides his bike instead of driving, walks the dog, etc.  At first I tried to keep up with him, as it is virtually impossible to hide being lazy.  That resulted in my feeling universally tired and grumpy, sore and unable to walk properly.  I've learned to, instead of imitate, emulate his self-caring attitude, and downscaled his discipline to a moderate version that works for me.  As a result, I'm exercising more, feeling better, and have lost some weight.  Thank God, because my wedding dress will arrive in late May...that's about 4 weeks away, and I want to look fabulous.

Speaking of which, time for a walk on the beach. Bye for now:)